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COPYRIGHT DEPOSir. 



THE REFORMERS 



THE REFORMERS 

A DRAMA OF MODERN LIFE 



IN THREE ACTS 



BY 
EDWARD SHRUBB ZIETZ 



^ 



PUBLISHED AT 

THE BOOKERY 

NEW YORK 



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\n fz 



COPYBIGHT, 1912 
BY 

Edward Shrubb Zietz 

The rights of translation into 
any foreign language reserved 



APR -^ 1314 



ENTERED AT STATIONERS* HALL, LONDON 
PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES 

g)n!.D 36656 

_.. M-4^ . 



TO THOSE WHO AEE 

IN SYMPATHY 

WITH ME 

DO I 

DEDICATE 

THIS HUMBLE VOLUME 



SYNOPSIS OF PLAY 



THE REFORMERS 

Stephen Ormsley, a prominent religious enthusi- 
ast and social reformer, is employed by a certain 
society to seize immoral writings and posters. His 
wife, Viola, is a very energetic church worker, and 
with her husband, who is a member of the same 
church, is looked upon as a shining light. They 
have one son, Walter by name, who was forced to 
leave home, having been turned out and disowned by 
his father on account of refusing to continue his 
studies for the church. He was persuaded, very 
much against his will, to enter a Theological School, 
as he had set his heart on becoming an actor, 
but his parents were greatly shocked at the idea 
and would not hear of it. Walter, being home for 
the summer vacation, tells his father he will not 
return to the school, but is determined to enter the 
theatrical profession. An argument ensues between 
father and son, in which the mother joins. Walter 
tells his father of the so-called Christian life in 
training schools, of the hypocrisy, sin and deceit 
within their walls, to which his father replies that he 
is a child of the Devil and not fit to associate with 
Christian people, or live under the same roof with 
them. 



THE REFORMERS 

Mr. Ormsley has a brother out West whom he has 
lost track of for the last twenty years. This brother 
(Richard by name), is a widower with an only 
daughter, named Mabel, who is a clever actress and 
very beautiful, her professional name being Thelba. 
She is fulfilling an engagement at a New York 
theatre where she meets Walter, who has secured an 
engagement in the same company, having been as- 
sisted by an influential friend. Walter becomes 
acquainted with Mabel, falls in love, and asks her 
to marry him. She refuses, telling him she is mar- 
ried to her Art, the real reason being that she has 
found out he is her cousin and a blood relation. 
Mabel writes and tells her father of her discovery, 
and how cruelly Walter had been treated by his 
parents, mentioning that he had proposed to her and 
she had refused him on account of their relationship. 

Stephen Ormsley has an assistant (Alexander 
Faker by name) whose business it is to tour in the 
wake of theatrical companies, visit the chorus girls 
at their apartments, assist any who are in distress 
or stranded, give a tea party in a convenient spot 
and distribute marked Bibles. Faker is a gray- 
haired, shriveled up little man between 60 and 70, 
while his partner is the reverse, being tall and robust, 
having a thick crop of black hair. Mrs. Ormsley is 
a fine woman of medium height, fair hair and large 
eyes that take in most things at a glance. Walter is 
tall like his father, but has what his father lacks, 

10 



THE REFORMERS 

namely, an honest, open countenance. Mr. Faker 
writes to many wealthy people in different towns who 
are interested in his work among chorus girls, and 
receives in return much money, a great part of which 
is laid aside and shared by his partner and himself. 
They are together one evening in Ormsley's private 
study, and thinking they are the only persons in the 
house besides the servants, the door having been 
locked, Ormsley removes from the bookcase several 
books, then touching a spring, and causing a panel 
at the back to slide sideways, he takes from the recess 
a syphon, bottle of whiskey and some choice Havana 
cigars. A smoke consumer is produced and set 
going by Mr. Faker. They then sit down, smoke 
and drink, when Ormsley suddenly rises and opens 
a black bag, taking from it some French novels, 
postals and a theatrical poster. The latter he places 
on the wall, with the aid of two push pins, and it 
being a hot night they have an electric fan at work, 
which causes the poster to flutter and both to re- 
mark that it looks like a Salome dance. They fill 
up their glasses and pass impious remarks on the 
postals, when Faker asks Ormsley where he got the 
poster. " I got it from a boy at Coney Island for 
50 cents," replied Ormsley. " I demanded it from 
a bill poster and in return I got his paste brush 
right between the eyes, and was glad to get out 
of sight of the laughing crowd that had collected. 

Having arrived in a quiet spot, a boy suddenly ap- 

11 



THE REFORMERS 

peared on the scene and offered me the poster for 50 
cents, saying he had pinched it from the bill man 
on the sly." 

They are both interrupted here by the sound of 
footsteps. They start to their feet, Ormsley grab- 
bing the whiskey and cigars, and Faker the syphon, 
all of which they hurry into the recess, forgetting 
the smouldering consumer. Ormsley quietly unlocks 
the door just as his wife turns the handle. She sniffs 
and says : " What on earth is this smell here, 
Stephen, and what is that smouldering there .f^ " At 
this Mr. Faker comes forward and says " Good 
evening," explaining the use of the consumer, and 
saying that it was given to him by a chorus girl who 
had made a promise to him to give up smoking. 
After this enlightenment, Mrs. Ormsley catches sight 
of the poster, fixes her glasses, and views same. 
" Why is that horror stuck on the wall, and who is 
this Thelba.'*" she remarks. "My dear Viola," 
answers her husband, " I seized that poster from a 
man at Coney Island and have hung it there to 
show Mr. Faker the exact position of its hanging on 
the wall, explaining how the best positions and places 
are chosen to paste such corruption ; but who this 
Thelba is I have not the remotest idea. 'Tis indeed 
a pity such an immoral character is displayed about 
our cities. I really must be more on the lookout to 
stop this evil." 

Mrs. Ormsley feigns disgust after taking a long 

12 



THE REFORMERS 

look at the poster, and is led to the door by her 
husband, who returns, faces his partner and says 
(in a breath with him) " We must be more careful 
or she will scent us." 

Mrs. Ormsley, having arrived at the floor below, 
says in a noisy whisper : " The sharks ! I am posi- 
tive I smelled whiskey and cigar smoke." 

We will follow Mrs. Ormsley on one of her district 
visits. She calls on a Mrs. Tattler regarding her 
absence from church, but chiefly to get a donation 
for the foreign missions in China. The door is 
opened by Robert Tattler, a young man of 20, who 
says his mother is out, but won't Mrs. Ormsley step 
in as she will not be long. She enters, being 
ushered by the young man into the sitting room. 
The conversation starts upon general things leading 
to religion. She speaks to the young man on the 
error of his ways, telling him he ought to take an 
interest in spiritual things and join the church. The 
young man lets on he is impressed and promises to 
stop sowing wild oats. Mrs. Ormsley having heard 
that Robert is a pianist asks him if he will play a 
piece. The young man plays and charms Mrs. 
Ormsley, causing her to forget the pious conversa- 
tion they have just had by suddenly throwing her 
arms around his neck and imprinting three smacking 
kisses on his lips. Robert is very much aston- 
ished but quickly arrives at the conclusion that 
it is all right and gets the habit inunediately. 

13 



THE REFORMERS 

They are disturbed by footsteps, when Mrs. Ormsley 
hurriedly takes her arms from the young man's 
neck, freeing him in time to get to the door just 
as his mother enters. " Why mother, how long 
you have been. Here is Mrs. Ormsley who has been 
waiting quite a while to see you and whom I have 
been trying to entertain with a little music." 

" Yes, Mrs. Tattler," said Mrs. Ormsley, " your 
son is indeed a beautiful pianist. He has charmed 
me with his music and given me a very pleasant time 
by playing a favorite piece of mine — the Lost Chord, 
with variations. He has such a smooth touch." 

Robert says good-bye to Mrs. Ormsley, leaving 
her with his mother, but manages to whisper before 
leaving the room, " Come again." 

• ••••• 

We will return to Thelba, whom we left writing a 
letter to her father. After mailing it, she hurries 
to the bedside of a poor dying widow who had sent 
for her, and is let in by a little girl of 12, very 
poorly clad, who says in a sobbing voice : " Mother 
is dying." Thelba goes at once to the bedside and 
hears the following story: 

Since the death of her husband the dying woman 
had been employed by a certain mission society at a 
salary of fifty dollars a month to take charge of a 
mission. The minister of the church connected with 
this mission, having been recently married, is ques- 
tioned by his wife as to the time the worker is sup- 

14 



THE REFORMERS 

posed to put in, and what salary she gets. Not 
knowing himself, he is persuaded to ask the society. 
Securing the information and also finding out 
that the woman had not put in her full time 
lately, owing to the sickness of her little boy, a com- 
plaint is lodged and she is discharged, her place 
being filled by the minister's wife. The poor woman 
implores the society to keep her on for the sake of 
her five children. They answer that they cannot as 
her heart is not in the work. She sobs and entreats 
until finally she is thrust out and the door slammed 
in her face. Unable to earn enough to support her- 
self and children she at last dies of consumption, 
brought on by want and worry. The end of the poor 
woman was made bright and happy by Thelba who 
made a promise to care for the five orphans. 

A week later Thelba receives an answer from her 
father saying he is on his way to New York, and 
asks her to be sure and have Walter with her as he is 
anxious to meet the young man. He goes on to 
state that he does not see why relationship should 
interfere with their marriage, providing they love 
each other. He also writes to his brother, telling 
him he is alive and well, inviting him and his wife to 
meet him at his daughter's flat. Having found out 
the double hfe his brother Stephen is leading he 
determines to denounce and expose him. Arriving 
at his daughter's flat he is introduced to Walter, 
whom he takes to immediately. He makes arrange- 

15 



THE REFORMERS 

ments with him and his daughter to keep out of 
the way when the former's parents arrive, but to 
keep within call, one ring on a hand bell for Mabel 
and two rings for Walter. Mr. and Mrs. Ormsley 
having arrived are ushered by the servant into the 
sitting room and requested to take a seat. They are 
no sooner seated than Richard Ormsley enters. They 
both rise to greet him, but he waves them back, refus- 
ing to meet their outstretched hands, telling them he 
knows all about the Hfe they are leading under the 
cloak of religion, that they are deceiving an hon- 
est people by their moneymaking Pious Fake Busi- 
ness, and that they are a hindrance, both to God and 
to man. They are too astonished to speak, when Mabel 
appears in the room in answer to one ring. She is 
instantly recognized by them, they having seen her 
at the theatre, from where they were turned out for 
creating a disturbance, also recognizing her by the 
posters. 

" Thelba the actress ! " they exclaim. 

" Yes, Thelba the actress," says Richard Ormsley, 
" and my daughter, otherwise known as Mabel 
Ormsley." 

Two rings bring in Walter. 

" What ! Walter here, too ! " they exclaim. 

" Yes, Walter is here, too," says Richard Orms- 
ley, " and about to marry my daughter, his cousin 
and your niece." 

At this they become frantic and create an uproar. 

16 



THE REFORMERS 

A policeman is called in and they are ejected, having 
been told to leave the city as soon as possible or they 
will be exposed. 

Having consented to his daughter's marriage with 
his nephew, he gives them his blessing and settles a 
good round sum of money on them. 

FINALE 



17 



THE PLAY 



CHARACTERS REPRESENTED 

Stephen Ormsley, Hypocritical Social Reformer 

Viola Ormsley (his wife). Energetic Church Worker 

Walter Ormsley (his son), A Theological Student 

Annie Bird, A Servant to the Ormsleys 

Alexander Faker ( Ormsley' s assistant), A Mis- 
sionary to Chorus Girls 

Roland Clifford (Walter's friend). An Actor 

Mabel Thelba, An Actress 

Nellie Harvey, Maid to Thelba 

Robert Tattler, A Sower of Wild Oats 

Mrs. Tattler (his mother), A Woman of Means 

Mrs. Phoebe Lorne (widow), A Discharged Mission 
Worker 

Fay Lorne, Little Daughter of Widow 

Paul Foxey, A Bill Poster 

Sam Brimmage, A London Lad 

Richard Ormsley (Thelba' s father), A Rich West- 
em Land Owner 

Mike McQuirk, An Officer 



21 



SCENES REPRESENTED 

ACT I 

Scene 1 Mt. Vernon. Dining Room of Stephen 
Ormsley^s Residence 

ACT II 

Scene 1 Lwna Park, Coney Island. Booths, 
Stalls, Shooting Gallery, etc. 

Scene S Madison Avenue. Sitting Room of Thel- 
ba's Flat 

Scene 3 Mt. Vernon. Stephen Ormsley's Private 
Study 

ACT III 

Scene 1 Tenth Avenue. Rear Room of Tene- 
ment, top floor 

Scene 2 Mt. Vernon. Sitting Room of Mrs. Tat- 
tler's Residence 

Scene S Madison Avenue. Sitting Room of Thel- 
ha's Flat 



23 



ACT I 



ACT I 

Scene 1 Mou/nt Vernon. Dining Room of Stephen 
Ormsley''s Residence 

Stephen Ormsley seated opposite his wife at 
breakfast 

Ormsley, Viola, I feel like a new man this morn- 
ing, having been accepted by the Society as a fitting 
and moral representative for carrying on the glor- 
ious work of seizing all questionable books, postals 
and theatrical posters I come across. 

Viola. I am so glad, dear. I suppose the salary 
is good, but, of course, the salary is a secondary 
consideration, as God's work always comes first. 

Ormsley. Precisely so, Viola. Yet, while God's 
work should always be one's first consideration, the 
second should be the financial part, for the Good 
Book says " The laborer is worthy of his hire," and 
five thousand dollars a year is not a too great 
amount for such work. 

Viola. Well, dear, in changing the subject, of 
course you have read Walter's letter and have 
already come to some conclusion regarding it. You 
know he is to arrive this morning and will have 
to be dealt with firmly in order to break him of this 
mad infatuation for the stage. 

27 



Act 1 THE REFORMERS Scene 1 

Ormsley. Yes, Viola, I have fully considered the 
question and reached a conclusion regarding it. I 
intend my son to become a minister of the Gospel 
and have sent him [as he states in his letter against 
his Tvill^ to a good Bible school with one object in 
view, viz., that of serving God in the right, best and 
proper way, by preaching the Gospel. 

Viola. Yes, dear, all this I know to be good and 
proper, but I feel sure we shall be unable to bend 
him in the right direction. He very much resembles 
his Uncle Richard in stubbornness. You know your 
brother always did like his own way if I remember 
rightly. Those words of his " individuality " and 
" originality " are still ringing in my ears. 

Ormsley. Never mention Richard to me, Viola. We 
never could agree, our ways being different ; he is not 
one of God's chosen ones. For all I know, he may 
be dead [whispers aside'\ and gone to his own place 
like Judas, God knows. 

Ring at the front door. Enter servant 

Servant' Mr. Walter has arrived, sir [ addressing 
Ormsley], and wishes to know if he is in time for 
breakfast. 

Ormsley. Yes, you may send him in. 
Enter Waltee. Embraces mother. Shakes hands 

with father 

Walter. Glad I am in time for a bite — I feel 
dam — er — er I mean damp and famished; came by 

28 



Scene 1 THE REFORMERS Act I 

the Erie, very tedious journey and so wet [shivers']. 
Glad I managed to get a hack at the depot. 

Viola. Well, my dear boy, I am so glad to wel- 
come you home again and hope you will spend a 
pleasant hohday and return to the school refreshed 
and better able to continue your studies owing to 
your rest here, so do take things easy Walter. Per- 
haps I may find a little healthy recreation at the 
church for you. 

[Walter, aside, " Not if I know it.''] Takes seat 

at table 

Viola. Let me see, Walter. I believe you take 
two pieces of sugar, do you not ? [Pours out coffee, 
etc.] 

Walter. Yes, mother [takes cup], thanks. [Sips 
coffee, smacks lips.] Ah! This is decent coffee. 
The bum stuff we poor students have to swallow at 
the school — well, 'pon my soul, I feel like taking 
Postum as " There's a reason." The faculty's table 
is always well supplied like the monk's of old. 

Ormsley. Walter, my boy, you must not com- 
plain. God knows what is best for you, and the 
work you are preparing yourself for at the school 
combined with the fare — which I will admit might be 
better — is the best training for one to become an 
efficient preacher of the Gospel. You see, Walter, 
the whole trouble is you seem to be opposed to the 
plan God has mapped out for you. 

29 



Act I THE REFORMERS Scene 1 

Walter. God's plan, you say. Rather say your 
own. You highly moral people never can see farther 
than your noses. You are so narrow as to think 
God's work is limited to one particular calling, viz. : 
that of the church. 

Viola. Walter, my boy, you surprise me. You sin 
in speaking to your father like this. We both know 
what is best for you and desire with all our heart 
to see you follow the narrow way. 

Walter [m a temper^' Narrow way be damned. 
l^Bangs table with fist and rises. 1 

Ormsley [rising also^. How dare you, sir! Leave 
the room instantly and go to your room. Return 
in one hour telling me your plans, whether you 
intend to enter the employment of the devil, becom- 
ing an actor, or return to the school at the end of 
your vacation to continue your studies for God's 
work. Go, sir, and in the meantime reconsider any 
plans you may have made by the light of God's word 
which [pause'\ you will find on your dressing table. 

Walter faces his parents. Pauses in the act of speak- 
ing. SighSy then slowly leaves the room, closing 
the door quietly behind him. 

Viola. I told you so, Stephen. His uncle's spirit 
all over. We shall never bend him. 

Ormsley. Then he shall be broken and leave this 
house. No son of mine shall ever become an actor, 

30 



Scene 1 THE REFORMERS Act I 

with mj consent. I shall disown him and he shall be 
dead to me. 

Viola. Pray be a little calmer, dear, as you will 
only make things worse. Try leading instead of 
forcing. 

Ormsley. I am his father and have the right to 
choose what my son shall do, so please don't inter- 
fere between us. \_Leaves the room, slamming the 
door.'\ 

Viola- Goodness! What a pious man. I am 
obhged to agree with him as much as possible, but I 
must let him know that I have a tender spot for my 
son. I know the nice little pickings Stephen and his 
partner are making out of this fake moral business, 
but I mustn't grumble, for being his wife I benefit 
greatly in having all I want. If he only knew that I 
too have my little pickings [chuckling to herself she 
leaves room^. 

Enter servant. Clears table 

Lapse of one hour 

Enter Walter, ahead of his father by a quarter of 

an hour 

Walter [speaking aloud to himself]. Yes, Dad, 
my mind is fully made up. [Seats himself and takes 
a letter from inside coat pocket. Reads aloud.] 
" My dear Walter : Yours to hand of the 16th. Do 
keep up courage my boy, and as soon as you arrive 
in Mt. Vernon, if the Dad cuts it rough with you 

31 



Act I THE REFORMERS Seem 1 

and wishes to tie you down to what you are not 
fitted for, turns you out and disowns you as you 
expect him to do by going against his wishes, step 
Kvely up as far as Harlem, dig me out, and I am 
the man for you. I can manage to fix you with the 
show ' East Lyne.' Your favorite Chicago actress, 
' Thelba,' plays ' Lady Isabel.' By-by, dear boy. 
Cheer up. Don't forget to dig me out in case of 
fire. Yours always, Roland Clifford." 

Walter \^speaking aloucfl. Dear old Rol, you are 
indeed a friend in need. But for you I should be 
truly miserable. Many happy hours have I spent 
in your company and how often you have cheered me, 
telling me to look for the silver lining in the 
cloud, assuring me it was there. How I missed you 
when your company left Chicago. It seemed as if 
the sun had gone out. What an aching void I ex- 
perienced that day, Rol, when the train took you 
from me. Ah, dearest friend, we shall soon meet. 

Sound of heavy footsteps. Enter Ormsley hurriedly, 

Ormsley. Well, sir, I see you are punctual. 

Walter. Yes, Dad, ahead of you by a quarter of 
an hour. 

Ormsley [advancing^ takes seat opposite his son'\. 
Your decision, sir. 

Walter. To become an actor. 

Ormsley. No son of mine shall enter with my con- 
sent such a low, disgusting and God forsaken pro- 

32 



Scene 1 THE REFORMERS Act I 

fession. Think again, my boy, before you make a 
gap between us that it will be hard even for God to 
close. Come, Walter, let us reason together. Choose 
now whom you will serve. Which is it to be, Walter, 
God's work or the devil's? 

Walter. Listen, Dad, to what I am about to say 
and try to take my view of the situation. I feel 
a great longing for the life of an actor, as I 
am always conscious of a still small voice speaking 
to me, urging me to take up this noble work. I feel 
I am doing God an injustice in listening to your 
wishes and shutting my ears to this inward call. 
The stage is the greatest teacher of mankind and 
represents art in its highest form. It will take the 
place of the church pulpit some day being the most 
powerful teacher of God as yet unrecognized by 
the masses. I am called to the stage. Dad, and not 
to the pulpit and obey my conscience. There are 
too many already of the wrong sort in our churches 
as " pastors." Our training schools and theological 
seminaries are full of students from all parts of the 
world who have entered, not for God's work so much 
as for the easy livelihood they will gain. An easy 
livelihood with easy money covered by a pious cloak 
and as many texts as possible committed to memory 
is a hidden secret within many hearts. 

Ormsley. Go on, son. I am listening. 

Walter [continuing']. The school you have been 
kind enough against my will to send me to [spoken 

83 



Act I THE REFORMERS Scerie 1 

with sarcasTri\ is full of farmers' sons with scarcely 
any education at all, and these are the men supposed 
to be called of God to preach the Gospel, being 
bluffed by their farmer parents, and country clergy- 
men of the yokel stamp that they are chosen of God 
for His work of saving souls. What more noble work 
can there be than the theatre with a pure, good 
play. I tell you. Dad, God is using the theatre and 
blessing it more and more. It will some day be the 
drawing power for bringing many to a knowledge 
of the truth [pauses'\. 

Ormsley. Go one. I am all attention. 

Walter [continuing^. God wishes men and women 
in every calling to serve Him by letting their light 
shine. St. Paul says, " Let every man abide in the 
same calling wherein he was called. Let him serve God 
in it and not come to the conclusion it is the wrong 
place and that he is called into the church." What of 
the souls in the so-called questionable occupations.? 
Are they to be lost.^^ I tell you there is an under- 
current moving in the world (as yet unseen) that 
will swell and break, thus doing away with wrong 
interpretations of God's word, making its real mean- 
ing known to all men. We have the beginning in 
the SOth century New Testament which is a better 
translation from the original Greek. Hell abolished, 
the love of God made manifest. Salvator mundi. 
Christ the Saviour of all men. Light is becoming 

34 



SceTie 1 THE REFORMERS Act I 

brighter and narrow-mindedness is disappearing. I 
have finished, Dad. 

Ormsley. Good, a capital address. What a 
power you would be in the pulpit, Walter [said with 
sarcasTTh], Your answer is — what? 

Walter. The stage, Dad. 

Ormsley. Mj boy, think again. Can I not in- 
fluence you in the right direction.? [said in a tremu- 
lous voice. ^ 

Walter. No, Dad, NO! I am determined to 
throw in my lot with honest people. If you would 
only believe me when I tell you what I have seen 
of life in the particular school I have just left, the 
disgusting habits of many of the students, some 
living lives too dreadful to mention, being more 
so coming from an institution of God. No, Dad, I 
have had my share of trial and have been an unwill- 
ing witness of pious wickedness. I now come out in 
the open where the eyes of the world (as well as 
God's) are on me. I throw in my lot with a people 
whose ways and acts are above board and in the glor- 
ious light. My final decision. Dad, is THE STAGE. 

Ormsley [in a towering rage^. Then as your 
decision is to become an actor, I do not hesitate to 
tell you to your face that you are a child of the 
devil and not fit to associate with Christian people 
or live under the same roof with them. Go, you are 
no longer a son of mine. I disown you, despise you, 
forget you. Never darken my doors again. 

35 



Act I THE REFORMERS Scene 1 

Exit Walter. Front door closes. Viola falls for- 
ward into room in hysterics, too late to interfere 
between father and son and prevent latter from 
leaving. Ormsley in center of room. Viola 
lying across threshold. Servant. 

CURTAIN 

End of Act I 



36 



ACT II 



ACT II 

Three Months Later 

Scene 1 Luna Park, Coney Island. Booths, Stalls, 
Shooting Gallery, etc. 

Curtain rises. Bill poster discovered fly posting. 
Enter Ormsley, disguised, chuckling to himself, 
seemingly pleased. Spies hill poster. Unob- 
served by him pulls off false wig and beard and 
hurriedly places same in hat. Coughs loudly and 
approaches bill poster. 

Ormsley. So, my man ! I have caught you in the 
act of an illegal proceeding, have I [shakes head^. 
Are you not aware that you are trespassing against 
the law by posting play bills on other people's prop- 
erty? I have a good mind to have you arrested — 
but, on second thought, I will let you go, on condi- 
tion that you give me that bill you are about to 
place on the wall [points to bill^. 

Bill poster. Who are yer, guvner, and where did 
yer spring from? I'd like to know what it's got to 
do with yer where I place these bills? 'Taint no 
business of youm. I'll see you blowed fust. Step 
lively out of this or yer might get hurt. 

39 



Act II THE REFORMERS Scene 1 

Ormsley. Don't be insolent, mj man, but give me 
at once that rude poster. 

Bill Poster. Stow it, boss, who in thunder are 

yer? Again I says sheer off [jlourishes paste hrusK], 

Ormsley. Who am I [sharply^ ? Have you never 

heard of the Social Reform Society's representative, 

Stephen Ormsley? 

Bill Poster. Gee whiz, boss, yer don't say. Glad 
to meet yer. I might a known by looking at yer 
dial. Fancy yer being that crazy guy [crowd col- 
lects^ . 

Ormsley [in a rage'\. You low, God forsaken 
scoundrel. How dare you insult me.'^ I'll have you 
arrested. Give me that corrupt poster [advances 
and calls on crowd to assist him in getting poster^. 
Bill Poster. Steady, boss. Keep yer distance or 
I'll have yer block off [business of flourishing paste 
brush'l . 

[Ormsley (beside himself) rushes on bill poster. 
The latter plants brush right between his eyes, 
smothering him with paste, amidst jeers and 
laughter of crowd. In rage and fear Ormsley 
takes to his heels, followed for a short distance 
by the crowd who hurl at him anything handy. ^ 
[Bill Poster, left alone, is suddenly sent sprawling 
on top of pail (upsetting contents) by small boy 
who grabs poster and runs. Bill poster quickly 
rises to his feet, grabs pail, brush, bag, and 
makes quick exit.~\ 

40 



Scene 1 THE REFORMERS Act II 

Enter Waltee and Roland Clifford in deep con- 
versation 

Walter. Are you sure, Rol, it was my dad? You 
must be mistaken. What in the world would cause 
him to run like that and with that howhng mob after 
him? 

Rol. I am perfectly sure it was your dad, Walt. 
You just managed to see the tails of his coat as he 
turned the corner. Did you notice that bill poster 
that passed us like hghtning, looking scared to 
death, as if the very devil was after him? 

Walter. Yes, Rol, I did, but what has he to do 
with it? 

Rol. This much, Walt, I feel that your dad was 
on his seizing business and met with a repulse, being 
chased by the crowd who evidently took the bill 
poster's side, knowing your dad's game. 

Walter. You may be right, but why should that 
bill poster run like the dickens with no one after him. 
I noticed that he appeared to have fallen in his paste 
pail. 

Rol. Yes, I noticed that also, and now I come to 
think of it there was a boy running Hke the dickens 
as well, and it looked as if he had a poster in the 
right hand. Perhaps he pinched it from the bill man, 
and the latter was trying to catch the youngster. 

Walter. It may be so, Rol, only the bill man 
seemed too scared to be after the boy you speak of. 

41 



Act n THE REFORMERS Scene 1 

It is my opinion the man caught sight of a cop and 
was beating it, having been seen fly posting. Any- 
way it does not concern us. Let us resume the sub- 
ject we were both interested in. 

Rol, Let me see, you got as far as the proposal. 
What did Thelba say when you asked her to marry 
you, or I should have said popped the question.? 

Walter. She was very nice about it and admitted 
she cared a little for me, but told me she could not 
marry me as she was devoted to her art. 

Rol. That what they all say, Walt. She will 
yield sooner or later, so cheer up, old boy [slaps 
Walter on hack^. Never say die [laughs in good 
humor'] . You know the old saying, " faint heart 
never won fair lady " and I am perfectly sure 
that I shall be your best man. Again I say " cheer 
up ! " [Slaps Walter on back. Arm in arm both 
exit, laughing joyfully.] 

Return of Ormsley, out of breathy followed by small 

boy 

Ormsley [in a shaky voice]. Well, brat, what do 
you want following me? 

Boy. Don't get scared, boss, it's all right. No 
one's a following of yer. I've got the poster yer 
wanted and yer can have it for the small sum of fifty 
cents, and what's more, I brushes yer down into the 
bargain. [Business of exchanging poster for fifty 

42 



SceTie 1 THE REFORMERS Act II 

cents. Boy tries coin in teeth. Brushing down busi- 
ness, etc.^ 

Ormsley. Thanks, boy, here's an extra quarter 
for you. Now run away and play [hoy starts to 
run']. Hi, stay. [Boy turns.] Where do you come 
from, boy.f^ 

Boy. From London, guvner, and me name's Sam 
Brimmage. Don't happen to have me cards on me. 

Ormsley. From London, eh? I thought so. Tell 
me, is that bill poster I have just had trouble with 
your father .P 

Boy. What? Me father, did yer say? Not on 
yer Hfe, but I know'd him in London. His name's 
Paul Foxey and he used to live in Somerstown. Yer 
don't know where that is do yer, boss? Well, I aint 
a'going to tell yer anyway. [Puts finger on nose. 
Exit quickly.] 

Ormsley [speaking aloud]. The young devil. I 
thought that he and that scoundrel of a bill poster 
came somewhere from the other side. The United 
States Government never ought to allow such people 
to land in the country. Enghsh people never make 
good citizens — yet. Faker is an Englishman and I 
must say he is an exception, having embraced Amer- 
ican ideas and ways. He is Americanized all right, 
there is not the slightest doubt about that. No 
wonder he lost no time in taking out his papers, 
changed his name from F-o-o-o to Faker [ha, ha, 
ha]. I must not breathe his right name too heavily 

43 



Act II THE REFORMERS Scene 1 

for one never knows the way sound travels. These 
are the days of wireless telegraphy and instead of 
saying that walls have ears we must recognize the 
possibility of air ears [^ha, ha^. I am an old hypo- 
crite. I know it, and say, what of it? We hypo- 
crites say in our hearts " don't do as we do, but do as 
we tell you," and a mighty good thing for us that 
many do, or else our incomes would sink considerably. 
The so-called Christian Church is full of sharks. I 
am one. / know it, and there are numbers like me. 
Not one in a million is genuinely converted. I am 
one of the 99, the 100th is lost. Where has he gone.^^ 
'Tis I, I, I, I, — {^tragic attitude. Laughs mockingly. 
Looking about him to make sure no one is around, 
takes wig and heard from inside of hat, disguises him- 
self with same, and exits quickly.^ 

CURTAIN 

End of Scene 1 



44 



Scene ^ THE REFORMERS Act 11 



ACT II 

Scene 2. Madison Avenue. Sitting Room of Thel- 

hd*s Flat 

Thelha discovered seated at small table hy window y 

writing 

Thelha [places pen in stand and speaks aloud^. 
There! At last it is finished! I wonder what dear 
father will think when he reads it. I hope he will 
consent to my marrying Walter. [Rising, Thelha 
crosses to mantlepiece to see the time, taking letter 
with h^r.] Gracious! Ten o'clock already, and 
Walter is to be here at 10:30. I have been exactly 
one hour writing this letter [business of passing let- 
ter in front of fire to dry^. I may as well read it 
through once before sealing it. [Seating herself 
on sofa Thelba reads aloud.^ "My dear Father: 
I am writing to ask your advice on a subject of 
the greatest importance to me. The fact is, I have 
had an offer of marriage from Walter Ormsley (son 
of Uncle Stephen), who, strange to say, is playing 
in the same company with me. His father, he tells 
me, turned him out from home on account of refusing 
to enter the church. He was sent against his will to 
a Bible School and on arriving home for his vacation 
he refused to return to the school to continue his 

45 



Act II THE REFORMERS Scene ^ 

studies, telling his father he did not feel called to the 
work and wished to become an actor. The conse- 
quence was he was turned out. He has been very 
unhappy at home, father, his life having been un- 
bearable, and the stories he told me of the lives of 
many of the students at the school he was at were 
simply dreadful. I could hardly credit them. He 
says these so-called Christian schools are run more 
by the spirit of the devil than by the Spirit of God. 
He was, to use his own words, ' expected to live the 
life of a recluse at home and was only too glad to 
get away,' but found, on arrival at the school, he 
was among more hypocrites. 

In drawing my letter to a conclusion, dear father, 
I must say that I love Walter with all my heart and 
have refused him on account of the relationship 
existing between us, of which, I am sure, he has not 
the slightest knowledge. When I refused him, father, 
I told him I was devoted to my art. This was the 
only reason I gave, fearing if I told him I was his 
cousin it would perhaps break his heart and cause 
him to go away where I could never see him, and this, 
dear father, would kill me. How my refusal seemed 
to pain him! And how earnestly he pleaded with 
me to give him a little hope, till I really could not 
refuse. He asked me to let him come and see me 
here and I granted his request feeling that perhaps 
it was right to do so. He tells me he cannot live 
without me. What can I say to him? He will be 

46 



Scene 2 THE REFORMERS Act 11 

here shortly and I feel I must tell him the truth. Is 
it wrong for cousins to marry? I love him ever so 
much, dear father ! Do write by return mail and tell 
me what to do ! 

Your loving daughter, 

Mabel." 
Rising, Thelba crosses to the writing- table, seals 
letter and directs it, rings for maid and reclines 
on sofa. 

Enter maid 

Thelba [without moving]. Is that you, Nellie.? 

Maid. Yes, marm. Did you not ring for me? I 
made sure I heard the bell. 

Thelba. Yes, dear; I did ring. You will find a 
letter on the writing table that I would Hke you to 
mail for me at once. 

Maid. Yes, marm. Is there anything else you 
wish? [Crossing to writing-table for letter, is about 
to go when Thelba calls.] 

Thelba. One minute, Nellie. A young man will 
call presently and ask for me. You might show him 
in here. He will give the name of Walter Ormsley 
[maid starts to leave the room]. Stay — there is one 
other thing I wish to say to you. Don't call me 
' Marm,' Nellie ; it sounds so stiff. If you must say 
something like it, let it be ' Miss,' or rather * Thelba ' ; 
the latter sounds best. Why, Nellie, anyone would 
think I was a sort of queen by the way you address 

47 



Act II THE REFORMERS Scene 9. 

me. Try to realize that I am something nearer than 
your mistress ; look upon me as your sister and try 
to remember that we are equal in God's sight. 

Maid \shyly\ If you wish it, M — , I mean Thel- 
ba, let it be so, but you are too good to me, and I — 
er — I love you ! [Thelba, rising, approaches and 
throws her arms round the neck of her maid and 
hisses her.'\ 

Thelba. I do wish it, dear ; but don't say I am too 
good to you, for there is really no one good save 
God. Go now, dear, and mail that letter before the 
gentleman arrives. Don't forget to show him in 
here. [Exit maid. Thelba reclines again on sofa 
and tries in vain to set her mind on a copy of Dante.^ 

Thelba [speaking aloud^. It is no use! [Lets 
book fall to floor.^ I cannot read you to-day, poor 
Dante ; my thoughts are astray. I am in love with 
Wal — [ring at front door, firm footsteps. Walter 
enters room, door closes behind him.^ 

Thelba [in same position^. Is that you, Nelhe.'* 
[knowing well Waltek,*s footsteps^. 

Walter. No, Thelba, it is I, Walter. Had you 
forgotten I was coming? 

Thelba. Is it really you, Walter.? Are you not 
late [sighs unconsciously. Walter approaches sofa, 
picking up copy of Dante']. 

Walter. So you read Dante, Thelba. Are you 
interested in him ? 

Thelba. Yes, a little ; but I think his imagination 

4S 



Scene 2 THE REFORMERS Act II 

a little far-fetched and his ideas of God peculiar. 
Dante requires deep study. 

Walter. You are right, Thelba, and I agree with 
you as to his peculiar ideas of God. The same 
ideas exist to-day [Thelba, rising, offers Walter a 
seat beside her. Waltee continues}. In what way 
do you think his ideas of God peculiar.'^ 

Thelba. Because he pictures God as a sort of 
monster instead of a God of Love. The underworld 
of torment that he pictures — Oh ! [shudders] . It is 
terrible ! 

Walter. You are right, Thelba; it is indeed ter- 
rible to picture God as such a monster, but it is an 
old beHef, and it is even stronger to-day; I think it 
is a profane idea of the character of the Love of God. 

Thelba. I am glad you hold this view. You will 
be able to do far more good in the world viewing 
God in this light. But, tell me, Walter, what is your 
opinion of the departed.? Do you think those lost 
and reserved for everlasting torment who have led 
indifferent and wicked lives here? 

Walter. No, Thelba, I do not ; and the Scriptures 
do not teach it. My belief is that every soul will 
eventually be brought to a knowledge of the Truth, 
and will reaHze hereafter, if not here, the purpose 
of God toward them, and will be given the will, 
strength, and power to accept of His gift of perfect 
restoration to manhood, such as our father, Adam, 
enjoyed before the fall. Death will end all suffering. 

49 



Act II THE REFORMERS Scene ?. 

There is no suffering and torment beyond the grave, 
for if this were the case, the so-called Christian 
Church would not calmly go about God's work as if 
to-morrow would do as well as to-day, but on the 
contrary, they would be crazed and terror-stricken 
to know that the men and women they mingle with 
(many dear to them) day after day, are hastening 
on to an everlasting torment that has no end and no 
escape unless taken advantage of here. The wages 
of sin is death, Thelba. When we close our eyes in 
death, we have our wages ; death is the penalty of 
sin. If there are any judgments to come, let us not 
mix them up with the penalty " death." The second 
death (if there are any unfortunate enough to par- 
take of it) will be extinction and entirely their own 
fault, not the result of their sin in this present 
world. I do not think there is the slightest reason 
for picturing God otherwise than a loving and 
righteous Judge. Do you know, Thelba, that the 
devil's power is predominant in the so-called Chris- 
tian church, hence the wrong interpretations and 
teaching of God's word [pausing to take breath he 
continues^. There are a number of words in the 
Scriptures wrongly translated and these applied by 
hard-hearted, unsympathetic, faking Christians to 
those supposed to be unsaved have not only done 
not the slightest good but on the other hand 
have plunged scores into untold misery and set up 
the backs of so-called atheists [pause^. 

50 



Scene % THE REFORMERS Act II 

Thelha. Go on, Walter, you interest me; I have 
never before heard the scriptures explained this way. 

Walter. I did not mean to preach a sermon, Thel- 
ha. I let my thoughts carry me away. Let us con- 
tinue the subject at some future time as I cannot be 
with you very long this morning and I really must 
say what I came to say [^smile^. 

Thelha [nods and tries to draw Walter's 
thoughts in another direction^. What do you think 
of my new bracelet? [^Holds up arm.'\ Father sent 
it to me on my birthday. 
Walter takes Thelba's hand and examines bracelet 

Walter. I think it is a beautiful present and 
shows very good taste on your father's part. 

Thelha [laughing^. I think so, too. Father has 
always been good to me, Walter. He writes me such 
dear long letters with heaps of news. I simply 
treasure them and have a whole bunch of them care- 
fully tied up with purple ribbon. His favorite color 
is purple, you know. 

Walter. Is it ? Well I myself think it is a beauti- 
ful color and very nice of you to take such loving 
care of your father's letters by tying them together 
with ribbon of his favorite hue [smile^, but let me 
change the subject, dear Thelha, by asking you 
again to let me share your life. I love you, dear. 
Will you not consent to marry me? Can you not 
return my love by saying yes. I cannot live without 
you, Thelha! 

61 



Act 11 THE REFORMERS Scene '2 

Thelha [^shyly^. I cannot, Walter, much as I 
would like to. The fact is — really I cannot. 

Walter. You cannot, Thelba, and yet you say 
you would like to. What obstacle is there? Surely 
there must be some reason, Thelba. Is it because of 
my parents.? 

Thelha. No, Walter. I do not hold you respon- 
sible for the life your parents are living. It is true, 
I do not approve of their methods of doing good, 
but do not think me so narrow as to hold you re- 
sponsible for their acts by refusing your offer of 
marriage. I must tell you, dear Walter, that I do 
return your love but I cannot marry you as there is 
another reason besides my art as I told you. I have 
always liked you, Walter — nay, more, I love you, 
dear, but — it cannot be. 

Walter. Tell me the reason, dear. Surely it can- 
not be a very serious obstacle. 

Thelha. Well it is this, Walter. We are cousins. 
This is the hindrance to our marrying. 

Walter. What! Cousins did you say? [surprise^ 
Who are you then, Thelba? 

Thelha [laughing^. I am your cousin, Mabel 
Ormsley, daughter of your uncle, Richard Ormsley. 

Walter [talcing Thei^ba's hand], MABEL 
ORMSLEY, MY COUSIN! You surprise me. I 
do not remember Uncle Richard. I was too young 
when he went out West years ago. We all thought 
him dead. 

52 



Scene ^ THE REFORMERS Act II 

Thelha. Well, he is alive and well and I am his 
daughter. 

Walter. But surely, you do not look upon our 
relationship as an obstacle, do you? 

Thelha [shyly drops her head on Walter's shoul- 
der^. I do not know what to think. I have already 
written to father for his consent. 

Walter [hissing Thelba who does not seem to 
mind^. Oh, you darling. What joy I feel. You will 
be mine yet. I feel uncle will consent so I will wait 
and hope. [Ring at front door.'\ 
Knock and entrance of maid in response to " Come 
in " from Thelba 

Maid [handing a note^. A little girl brought 
this note and asked me to give it to you at once. She 
did not wait but ran off as if she were scared to 
death. 

Thelha [takes note, opens and reads it^. "My 
darling Thelba. Come at once. I am dying and 
wish before I go to have you with me. I have a 
story to tell and a favor to ask which I am sure you 
will grant. My little Fay will take this note. Come 
quickly as I am getting weaker. 

Phoebe Lorne." 

Thelha. Oh, dear! Nellie, run at once for a taxi 
[wrings hands^- 

Walter. I will go, Thelba. [Walter runs for 
taici.^ 

53 



Act II THE REFORMERS Scerie 2 

Maid assists Thelba to get ready. 
Tooting of horn of taxi outside. Hurried entrance 

of Walter. 
Walter. I just managed to get a taxi on the next 
block. 

Thelba. Thanks, Walter. Please excuse me. I 
will see you to-night and tell you all. [Aside to 
Walter] Pray for poor Phoebe. 
Exit Thelba, followed by Walter and maid. Front 
door closes. Walter takes leave of Thelba at 
taxi. 
Re-enter maid who sinks on sofa and sobs loudly, 

curtain 

End of Scene 2 



54 



Scene 3 THE REFORMERS Act II 



ACT II 

Scene 3. Mount Vernon. Private Study of Stephen 
Orrasley^s Residence 

Enter Ormsley and his assistant^ Al-exandee 
Faker, former locking door. 

Ormsley. You were just the man I wished to see. 
Lucky I ran across you as we can have a good time 
to ourselves without the fear of being interrupted. 
Viola is out visiting and collecting for the church, 
and there is no one in the house besides the servants 
and ourselves, so take that easy chair there [points'] 
and I will take this one \_easy chair each side of fire- 
place] . 

Faker. Thanks, Steve, I am more than pleased to 
enjoy your company this afternoon, and to partake 
of a little — let me see, stimulant is the word, is it 
not? 

Ormsley. Sure, stimulant is the word, and you 
don't seem to forget that I keep some of the choicest, 
Alec. 

Faker. No, Steve, anyone who happens to once 
taste your wines and spirits will never lose the taste, 
for they remind one of " spearmint," the flavor lasts 
[smacks lips and indulges in cackling laughter]. 

Ormsley. You are an old villain. Alec, but I guess 

55 



Act II THE REFORMERS Scene S 

you are right [rises from chair and approaches book- 
case, from which he removes several books, touching 
a spring causing a panel at the back to slide side- 
ways, disclosing a recess from which he brings forth 
a syphon, bottle of whiskey and some choice Havana 
cigars, which he places on table^. 

How is your Little Mary feeling, Alec? Are you 
conscious of a longing sensation considerably below 
the neck, somewhere in the region of the bottom vest 
button? Just look at this. [Holds bottle up.'\ Is 
it not good for the eyes, Alec? Let me see, how does 
that proverb go? [pauses to think^. I have it. 
" Look not upon the wine when it is red." 

Faker. But that is not red. It is the color of 
amber. 

Ormsley. Right you are. Alec, amber it is, but 
real Irish malt whiskey. 

Faker. Well, Steve, let us sample it, but above 
all things let us be moderate in our drops [cackling 
laughter^ . 

Ormsley produces glasses from recess and fills same 
partly with whiskey, hands one to Faker, takes 
the other himself. 

Ormsley. If you want soda. Alec, help yourself — 
'tis here, also cigars. 

Faker. Thanks, Steve [raises his glass meeting 
that of Ormsley^. Your very good health. May 
we always be the best of friends and partners. 

Ormsley. Amen to that. Alec. I am thinking it 

56 



Scerie 3 THE REFORMERS Act II 

would be a bad business if we fell out and split on 
each other, but that is not likely to happen, at least 
with us, and let us hope that trouble from any 
other source will not find us out. 

Faker. I hope so, too. What an awful name we 
should get if it became known what religious fakers 
we are ; how we appropriate moneys intrusted to us 
for charitable purposes for our own private 
pleasures and ends. We should be compelled to fly. 

Ormsley. Sh! Walls have ears. I cannot help 
laughing when I think of your name. It reminds me 
of that part in the catechism where it says " Who 
gave you that name? " and in your case the answer 
ought to be Nature, as you are a Faker by name 
and Faker by nature [^laugh^ boisterously^. Don't 
you see the connection, Alec.'* 

Faker. Yes [/la, ha, cackling laughter], very 
good, Steve, very excellent. You always were good 
at connecting things [/lo, ho]. Ah, I had forgotten 
\^rises from chair]. I beheve I brought a parcel with 
me. Ah, there it is on the writing table \_points'\. 
Hand it over, Steve, will you, and Fll show you what 
it contains [parcel passed over and opened hy Faker 
and contents set on table]. 

Ormsley. What the deuce have you there. Alec? 
Looks like an elaborate scent bottle. 

Faker. Well, in a sense, it is a scent bottle; but 
its real name is fumigating lamp. 'Tis also called 
a smoke absorber or consumer. It is supposed to 

57 



Act II THE REFORMERS Scene 3 

destroy tobacco smoke and purify the air so that 
there is no trace of sin in the shape of smoke left 
behind. 

Ormsley. You sly old ^dllain. The older you get 
the worse you become. It strikes me you will need 
a factory of absorbers to destroy smoke in you 
[boisterous laughter']. 

Faker. [Joins in laughter,] Good again, Steve. 
You are very generous with your compliments to- 
day. Would you like to know how I happen to pos- 
sess this toy? [holds up consumer], 

Ormsley- Yes, Alec, but I'll be bound you got it 
the same way you get most things, and that is by 
appropriation [ha, ha]. But go on. Alec, where did 
you get it.? From one of your flock of chorus girls, 
eh.f' [digs Faker in ribs and laughs]. 

Faker, That's enough of it, Steve. Don't get 
so painfully joyous. You seem to forget that I am 
not so young as I used to be, and therefore a little 
tender. 

Ormsley, Tender, you say [ha, ha]. That's real 
good. Alec, you old villain, you are a standing joke. 
Where does this tender affliction lie.'' Not in the 
heart, I warrant, and as for not being so young as 
you once were should be a good reason for turning 
over a new leaf, thereby making yourself fit to enter 
the pearly gates [loud laughter from both] , 

Faker, I think, Steve, you would do well in vaude- 

58 



Scene S THE REFORMERS Act II 

ville. Do you know you are a born comedian? 
\laughter~\ . 

Ormsley. Yes, I realize I have talent in that 
direction, but one in the family is quite sufficient in 
the business. Walter might resent my rivalry [loud 
laughter']. [Whishey begins to work on both.] 

Faker [takes long drink]. Well, Steve, to con- 
tinue the subject where you interrupted. I got the 
consumer from one of my dear girls [cackles]. She 
happened to have it on the table when I called on 
her to invite her to attend my class tea party. She 
quite forgot to put it out of sight, and I persuaded 
her to explain the use of it, also to confess the real 
reason she used it. [Ormsley interrupts.] 

Ormsley. And you explained to her how sinful its 
use was when used to cover the sin of smoking 
[laughs]. 

Faker. Right again, Steve. How sharp you are 
today. 

Ormsley. And you persuaded her to give it to 
you after one of your sermons on the evils of smok- 
ing, eh? [digs Faker in the ribs and laughs]. 

Faker. Not so playful, Steve, not so playful. I 
will set it going now and you can pass the cigars 
this way after you have helped yourself. The con- 
sumer will do its work by absorbing our smoke 
[cackling laughter. Consumer set going.] 

Ormsley. What about the whiskey smell.? Does 
it absorb that also.? 

S9 



Act II THE REFORMERS Scene 3 

Faker. Yes, it absorbs the smell. We do the con- 
suming \hay ha, both join in laughter^. 

Ormsley. Absorbing or consuming, whichever you 
like, but in the words of the classics, I add necking 
it, or in your London dialect, perching it down our 
scraggs. [Loud laughter again from both. Ormsley 
goes to bookcase and brings out another bottle.^ 

Faker. What have you there, Steve? [eyes bottle 
and exclaims^. Champagne! [rubs hands and 
chuckles^. What brand is it? 

Ormsley. [Places finger on lips and says Sh — ] 
Mumm. 

Faker. Glorious, Steve. This is an unexpected 
pleasure. It isn't everyone that can mix drinks. 
[Champagne opened by Ormsley, who helps Faker 
and himself. 1 

Ormsley. No, you are right, Alec, but you see 
we are hardened sinners, but the world knows it not 
[ha, ha']. 

Faker. You need not go to the trouble of speak- 
ing for me. Just leave me out of it, for you know I 
pose as a moralist [laughter]. 

Ormsley. I am aware of it, Alec. Now in chang- 
ing the subject, tell me why you left England for 
this country and a little about your missionary work 
among chorus girls there. 

Faker. Well, to commence, my story in brief is 
as follows : Being pious-minded, I thought out a 
plan of starting a good work among theatrical folk. 

60 



Scene 3 THE REFORMERS Act II 

I realized that touring companies had little, if any, 
chance of entering a place of worship, being always 
when each Sunday came around, either in a train 
departing early on a long journey, or else arriving 
in a town late and tired, having to find digs, as they 
say, meaning suitable apartments. Realizing their 
terrible condition in not being able to attend a place 
of worship, I hit on a plan of being a missionary to 
them, being very unhappy about them in those days 
[ha, ha, from Ormsley^. Yes, Steve, my intentions 
were good in those days. I have fallen since to what 
I am [sighs^. I used to write to wealthy people in 
different towns who were interested in missionary 
work. I soon found that I was receiving a great 
amount of money, more than I really needed to carry 
on my work. The churches assisted me also, ap- 
proving of my work. My plan was to get in if pos- 
sible the same time as a theatrical company, get the 
names off the play bills, writing to same, inviting 
them to my lodgings. I soon found I had to engage 
a hall, as the landladies often objected. I found I 
could not get hold of the men. I seemed to be a joke 
to them. The chorus girls stuck to me. I used to 
give an address preceded by a tea and distribute 
marked Bibles. I assisted any who were stranded 
and in need of money, received many confidences 
from the girls, and was let in and out of their 
lodgings as I pleased. Many of them having what 
they used to call combined rooms and living alone, 

61 



Act II THE REFORMERS Scene 3 

I used to visit. One thing led to another and I fell, 
having stolen and put away large amounts of money 
intrusted to me by wealthy people interested in my 
theatrical mission work. I have ruined — many, I 
mean I had to fly the country having been found 
out. I married a beautiful girl of twenty-two sum- 
mers. She was with a dramatic company. The fact 
is, Steve, I had to do so. I turned my two daughters 
(by my first wife) out in order to give her the home, 
but my young wife soon tired of me and left me. I 
was a bad character then as I am now. I hid my 
sins under the cloak of religion. In the end I got 
found out but managed to escape here to America. 
This is my story, Steve. Now pass that Mumm, I 
feel dry. 

Ormsley \^passes champagne^. You have had a 
few adventures. Alec. Never mind, they are gone. 
Don't let remorse get hold of you. Enjoy the rest 
of your life as you will be a long time dead. So 
buck up ! Eat, drink and be merry for to-morrow 
we die [forced laughter from hotK]. 

Faker. I think, Steve, you might tell me a little 
about yourself. You are no chicken, you know 
[laughter^ . 

Ormsley. Some other time. Alec. I had a little 
adventure to-day with a bill poster. Tried to get 
a bill he was about to post. Got into an argument 
and had to fly smothered in paste, but I managed to 
get the poster from a boy who stole it and who sold 

62 



Scene 3 THE REFORMERS Act II 

it to me for 50 cents. I will show it to jou. [Opens 
bag, brings forth poster, postals and French novels. 
Puts poster on wall with the aid of two push pins."] 
What do you think of that, Alec? That is Mabel 
Thelba, the charming actress. The wife and I went 
to see her act last week. By the way, Walter is in the 
same company. " East Lynne " is the piece. I will 
add we got put out of the theatre by an officer. 
The wife shouting out to Walter to come home. Sev- 
eral people cried " Put her out." I remonstrated, 
and we were both put out. Switch that electric fan 
on Alec and I will open this window. 'Tis getting a 
little close. [Electric fan started. Window opened. 
Both hear noise and notice poster fluttering, caused 
by breeze from fan. They look at one another and 
say in a breath'] Salome dance. [Loud laughter. 
Postals and books looked through. Impious remarks 
passed.] 

Faker [handling postals]. There's a wife that 
will suit you, Steve, not so bad, eh? [laughter get- 
ting more shaky], 

Ormsley. Here's one of Zola's best works, Alec. 

I got it from a — [both in a breath] what is that.? 

Ormsley, throwing books and postals in bag, grabs 
whiskey and cigars. Faker Mumm, glasses and 
syphon. All are hurried into bookcase. Every- 
thing put in order in time except smoke consumer 
which is forgotten on table. Ormsley hurries 
to door and quietly turns key. Viola enters]. 



Act II THE REFORMERS S eerie S 

Viola. What on earth is this smell here, Stephen, 
and what is that smouldering there ? 

Faker [stepping forward^. Good evening, Mrs. 
Ormsley. \^Points.^ That is a fumigating lamp or 
smoke consumer and is used for destroying tobacco 
smoke. I persuaded one of my misguided girls to 
give it to me with a promise to give up the evil 
smoking habit, having set it going to show your hus- 
band how it works. [After being thus enlightened by 
Faker, Viola catches sight of fluttering poster, 
fixes glasses and views same.^ 

Viola. Why is that horror stuck on the wall and 
who is this " Thelba ".? 

Ormsley. My dear Viola, I seized that poster 
from a man at Coney Island and have hung it there, 
showing Mr. Faker the exact position of its hang- 
ing on the wall, explaining how the best posi- 
tions and places are chosen to post such corruption. 
But who this " Thelba " is I have not the remotest 
idea. 'Tis a pity such an immoral character is dis- 
played about our cities. I really must be more on 
the lookout to stop this evil. [Viola feigns disgust, 
after taking a long look at the poster, is led to the 
door by her husband, who returns, faces his partner, 
and says in a breath with him] We must be more 
careful or she will scent us. 

Mrs. Ormsley [the other side of door, aside]. The 
sharks ! I am positive I smelled whiskey and cigar 
smoke. 

64 



Scene 3 THE REFORMERS Act II 

Ormsley and Faker each sink into their chairs, 
yawn, lapse into silence, and gradually fall 
asleep. Noise of front door closing, Mrs. Orms- 
LEY having gone out, 

CURTAIN 

End of Act II 



66 



ACT III 



ACT III 

Scene 1. Tenth Avenue, Rear Room of Tenement 
Housey Top Floor 

Enter little Fay, sobbingy quietly closes door and 
approaches bed in comer of room on which lies 
her dying mother. 
Fay [gazing earnestly into her mother^s face, calls 
softly^. Mother dear. [No movement or answer.^ 
Mother dear, 'tis I, your Fay. [Still no answer S\ 
Mother, oh mother [in a louder voice'\, 'tis I, Fay. 
O speak to me, mother [loud sobbing from child]. 
Thelba is coming. I have been to her and she 
will be here soon. I ran all the way there and 
back [tio answer or movement from the dying 
woman]. Don't leave me, dear mother. I shall 
be lonely without you. [Peering into her moth- 
er's face, the child starts.] Are you asleep, mother.? 
[no sound from the mother] or are you d — . Oh, 
no, no, not dead, mother [child cries in anguish and 
wrings her hands], Thelba is coming, mother dear, 
and you will soon be better. God will not let you 
die [sobs. Slight movement and labored breathing]. 
Thank God, thank God! [from child], I will ask 
God, mother, to make you well [child kneels beside 
bed and prays. Noise of taxi stopping at street 

69 



Act III THE REFORMERS Scene 1 

door, hurried footsteps ascending stairs, room 
door opens and shuts quietly. Thelba enters room. 
Seeing child beside bed praying, she reverently ap- 
proaches, waits a few moments, then calls gently.^ 

Fay, Fay, 'tis I, Thelba. [Child looks up and 
quickly rises, throws herself into arms of Thelba, 
sobbing bitterly.^ 

Thelba [unable to control feelings^. Don't cry, 
my darling. Mother will soon be well. [Clasps 
child to breast. Both approach bed from which come 
sounds of heavy breathing. Church bell outside 
strikes the hour. The sound disturbs the dying 
woman, who speaks in a delirious voice. ^ 

Pity me, help me ! Do not deprive me of my 
work. My little Hugh was so sick that I could 
not come [laughs, cries, screams and sobs. Rising in 
bed she falls back exhausted. Thelba, putting child 
gently aside pours a few drops of brandy from flask 
between the lips of the dying woman; her breathing 
becomes more regular.^ 

Thelba [whispers to child^. Has no one been 
with your mother all the morning, Fay.'^ 

Fay. Yes, the lady on the second floor has been 
here. She has been very kind and has promised to 
look after us five children if mother dies, but tell me, 
kind Thelba, is she going to die.'* 

Thelba. I cannot tell you that, Fay. We must 
leave that with God. He knows best. I hope she 
will get better. The doctor will be here soon — I 

70 



Scene 1 THE REFORMERS Act III 

called on one on my way here. He was out, but I left 
a message for him to come at once as soon as he came 
in, so we must do the best we can till he arrives. Tell 
me. Fay, where are your four brothers.? 

Fay. The Gerry Society took them. Mother let 
them go as she thought they would be better off 
there. She kept me at home to help her. [Conversa- 
tion disturbed hy delirious mother saying^ : 

Keep me on, for the Lord's sake! What am I 
to do.? [loud shrieks]. Jack, Jack [in a calmer 
voice], bring me home a few velvety red roses for the 
table ; some of those we saw the other day. Hark — 
wedding bells! [Church bell, tolling the quarter 
hour. Thelba pours more brandy between lips of 
dying woman, and bathes her temples with cologne. 
She grows calmer, her mind clears, recognizing 
Thelba and Fay sh€ speaks.] 

Have I been asleep? [Passes hands over eyes, 
tries to sit up, Thelba gently lays her back and 
arranges pillows, etc-] So you have come, Thelba. 

Thelba. Yes, but you must not talk, Phoebe. Try 
and rest. The doctor will be here soon and you will 
soon be well. I am going to be your nurse. 

Phoebe. No, Thelba, dear, I am past all human 
help, I am dying, but going to meet him. I am not 
afraid, for [spoken aside] though I pass through the 
valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for 
Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me. This is my 
strength. Thelba [motioning Thelba and Fay to 

71 



Act III THE REFORMERS Scene 1 

listen, she continues^, I leave in your charge my poor 
children. If you will promise, Thelba, to look after 
them until they are able to look after themselves, I 
can die happy. Will you promise this, Thelba? 
[spoken in sorrowful tones^ . 

Thelba. Yes, Phoebe, I promise. I shall be their 
mother, and they shall be my children. 

Phoehe. God bless you, Thelba, I can now die in 
peace. Listen while I tell you my story. Three 
years ago my husband passed away. He had 
a good position with a banking house down town, 
and we had a beautiful home and quite a large sum 
of money saved [flask applied to lips^ when one day 
he was persuaded to invest his money in a bogus 
mining concern. The concern failed and we lost 
every cent — mine as well as his — as he had per- 
suaded me against my will to let him have my money 
to invest with his own. We were reduced to poverty, 
Jack lost his position through brooding over his 
loss, our furniture was taken for rent. This latter 
being too great a blow for Jack he shot himself 
[flask applied^. I applied to the minister of the 
church my husband and I had been in the habit of 
attending, for help. A collection was taken up and 
I was enabled to bury Jack in a respectable way. A 
position was secured for me to take charge of a mis- 
sion on the East Side at fifty dollars a month [takes 
breath^. The minister of the church connected with 
this mission having recently been married was asked 

72 



Scene 1 THE REFORMERS Act III 

by his wife what salary I was getting, also what time 
I was supposed to put in [flask applied^. My 
little Hugh was very sick then and I could not 
attend regularly on account of him. Through 
the minister's wife my salary was stopped and I 
was discharged, my place being immediately filled 
by her. [Groan of pain. Thelba applies flask 
and Phoebe continues in a weaker voice^. I went 
to the offices of the Society and implored them 
to keep me on for the sake of my children. They 
would not let me explain. They told me my heart 
was not in my work, and I was roughly led into the 
street and the door slammed behind me [sobs]. I 
again applied to the minister of my former church, 
explaining everything, and the sad plight I was in. 
Inquiries were made and he, too, refused to believe 
in or help me. I was poor and friendless. That is 
why they trod on me. During my husband's lifetime 
we were sought after at this church, as we were lib- 
eral in our contributions. I managed to support 
myself and children by going out to wash and clean. 
I worked at all sorts of things, night as well as day, 
at restaurants I earned a little more money, the tips 
at the end of the week swelling my small wages 
[pauses to take breath and continues^ . I have passed 
through terrible temptation having been asked by 
men to sacrifice myself for an easy life and g-o-l-d 
[quick breathing^. I was almost yielding at times 
for my children's sake, but, thank God, I got the 

73 



Act III THE REFORMERS Scene 1 

victory. I seemed to get sick all at once and not 
being able to rest I developed consumption. This 
is my story. Now sing, dear Thelba, to me. Sing 
the beautiful song you sang to me last week. Jack 
used to sing it often. Come here, Fay [child ap- 
proaches^, kiss mother, and do not forget to kiss 
i^y boys for me. Take my hand. Fay, and you 
Thelba, kiss me and take this one [each kiss the 
mother and take hand^. I am going home. Thelba 
sing. Promise me you will teach my boys sympathy 
and common kindness. Let them have nothing to do 
with the Christianity of the churches [loud sobbing 
from Thelba and Fay]. Sing, Thelba [whispers 
Phoebe. Controlling herself by great effort Thel- 
ba sings song of sleep. End of song, light having 
gone down gradually during song. Phoebe lies 
peaceful in death. Thelba, letting go the cold handy 
gently leads Fay from the room, returns, covers the 
face of the dead, then falls beside bed burying her 
face among clothes, weeping bitterly^ . 

CURTAIN 

End of Scene 1 



74 



Scene 2 THE REFORMERS Act III 



ACT III 

Scene 2. Mt. Vernon. Sitting Room of Mrs. Tat- 
tler's Residence 

(Discovered) Robert Tattler seated at piano, play- 
ing finishing bars of waltz. Rising, he takes 
cigarette from pocket case, lights same and 
speaks. 
Robert. Gosh, what a hot time I had last night 
[puffs stream of smoke from mouth, watching same 
as it curls upward and disappears^. I am like that 
smoke — a wanderer in space. My mind certainly 
wandered last night and I must have drunk consid- 
erable by the feeling in my head this morning. Ah, 
well! [Loud sigh and stretch.^ Life's a hollow 
bubble and one may as well enjoy the hollowness. 
Why should I sit down and think ? This is what that 
guy preacher told me to do. He said I should culti- 
vate beautiful thoughts [ha, ha"]. Of course I 
agreed with him, but told him frankly that life was 
far too short to waste time pondering on deep re- 
ligious problems [ha, ha'\. There's one thing about 
me, I tell them what I think, all pious guys I should 
say [yawns^. Gee, what a thirst I have on me. 'Tis 
enough to stop a clock [yarmis^. How nice Hilda 
looked last night. Gee, that girl sets me all of a 

75 



Act III THE REFORMERS Scerie 2 

tingle. There's no doubt about it, she's pretty. 
How the fellows looked with envy on us. She is as 
much stuck on me as I am on her. We registered 
as Mr. and Mrs. James Courtner \_hay ha. Crossing 
to mantelpiece he looks at self in glass^^. I must 
get a face massage to get rid of these lines l[eicamines 
face in glass^. I look knocked up, all in, confound 
these tell tale lines under my eyes [turns from glass 
and yawn^ loudly~\. Gee, I must get a drink of some 
sort, I am as dry as a bone. I wish the mater would 
come. She said she would not be long. As soon as 
she arrives I will beat it for a cocktail. That will 
put me right. The mater is all right, a real pal. 
Lets me do as I like, come in when I like, and bring 
in whom I like [ha, ha^. I think I will bring Hilda 
here to-night. It will save the trouble of registering 
[ha, ha^. The mater never asks any questions and 
she don't get any lies told. She is a woman of the 
world. I don't blame her for having her fun. She 
makes that old fool of a General part up. A fine 
looking woman the mater [yawns^. She has prom- 
ised to tell me who my father was. She says he's 
dead. I don't care who he was but I admire him for 
one thing: he left the mater well off. She is a 
woman of means [ha, ha^. She has the General on 
the string and I guess she has him pretty tight. 
That Mrs. Ormsley from the church pays the mater 
a good many visits. Of course she's after mazuma, 
to use a Hebrew expression. That's all the church 

76 



Scene ^ THE REFORMERS Act III 

people are after: Money, not after the lost sheep, 
as they would have us beKeve. Anyway they will 
never get the mater into the fold, or me for the 
matter of that, as there is too much good green 
grass in the Hquid form, absinthe, and a fine thing 
to drown one's sorrows [yawns^. I must say that 
Mrs. Ormsley is a rather attractive woman. I will 
try and have a talk with her the next time she comes 
and if I don't prove her a fake my name's not Bob 
Tattler. I will let on that I am impressionable ; and 
will listen to her like a lamb \ha, ha] . I will prove 
myself, as I always have, to be a lady killer, and a 
church visitor shall be no exception. I will let her 
rub all the pious talk she likes into me, and will win 
and captivate her affections by my most bewitching 
manner and with the assistance of a Httle music 
[hearty laughter. Bell rings loudly. Robert goes 
to zmndow, lifts curtain aside and peers out]. Gosh, 
'tis she. Talk of the de — . [Robert goes out into 
the hall to let visitor in himself, calling to servant.] 
All right, I will open the door. [Door opened by 
Robert]. 

Viola. Good evening, Mr. Tattler. 

Robert. Good evening, Mrs. Ormsley, this in a 
pleasant surprise. So glad to see you. • Come in. 
Mother will not be long. She has only gone to the 
druggist [leads way into room and asks Mrs. Orms- 
ley to be seated. Seating himself beside her]. 

77 



Act III THE REFORMERS Scene % 

Viola- What lovely weather we are having, Mr. 
Tattler. 

Robert. Yes, I only hope it will keep like this. 
We cannot get too much of this weather, although I 
think it would be more enjoyable if it were not so 
warm. 

Viola. Yes, I agree with you Mr. Tattler, but we 
must not forget that our Maker plans everything as 
it should be. 

Robert [aside'\. Now for it. That's quite cor- 
rect, Mrs. Ormsley, but we poor mortals are never 
really satisfied. 

Viola. Mr. Tattler, let me assure you that con- 
tentment comes only by surrender of one's self to 
God. Do you know that you would view life from a 
very different aspect if you belonged to God. I have 
not seen you at church for a long time. 

Robert. The church does not interest me. 
There's nothing bright or worth listening to there, 
only dull, old-fashioned sermons by an old-fashioned 
preacher who is a thousand years ahead of his time. 

Viola. You are dreadful, Mr. Tattler, but I am 
sure you do not mean all you say. 

Robert. Perhaps I do not, and perhaps I do. 
What's the use of trying to change one's nature. 
What is bred in the bone is bound to come out in the 
flesh. You very good people do not make allow- 
ances for taints of blood. To use a little bit of 
scripture, " We do that we would not do, and what 

78 



Scene 2 THE REFORMERS Act HI 

we would that we do not " [ha, ha'\. Have I got it 
right, Mrs. Ormsley? 

Viola. You poor, misguided boy. I am sad about 
you. I do not think you mean half you say [Robert 
laughs^. You make yourself out to be much worse 
than you are. I am sure I shall win you over to 
the right side [Robert hangs head'\. My dear boy 
[Viola takes Robert's hand in her ozem'\, won't you 
let me lead you into the narrow way ? Why will you 
continue in such sinful pursuits? You are the talk 
of the town. Can I not persuade you to stop sowing 
wild oats? You ought to think of your soul's wel- 
fare. Take an interest in spiritual things and join 
our church, will you? [Robert puts on sad air'\. 
What can you find in life without being one with 
the church? What do you live for, my boy? 

Robert [looking straight into Viola's eyes^. I 
live for wine, woman and song. This is what I have 
been brought up to live for and it is not so bad 
after all. I get comfort and joy from them. All 
you pious folk are much too strong on the hell busi- 
ness. Now tell me, Mrs. Ormsley, frankly, do you 
believe in hell? Do you really believe God is going 
to keep in endless torture men and woman (even 
children as some believe), for not believing in a 
book, and that book called the Bible? Do you know 
the men who wrote that book (they may have been 
inspired) were human beings such as you and I? Be- 
lieve me, dear Mrs. Ormsley, there were fakers in 

79 



Act III THE REFORMERS Scene ^ 

those days the same as there are in these days, but 
the greatest fakers were those who translated 
wrongly the Bible, from the Greek to the EngHsh 
language. The people who believe such utter bosh 
without looking into it are damned fools, excuse me, 
Mrs. Ormsley — a slip of the tongue. I do not be- 
lieve in this hell business. This is what puzzles me. 
I cannot believe this is God's plan. 

Viola. My dear boy, your argument is good and 
I cannot help but agree with you. I am sorry if I 
have vexed you. I did not mean it I assure you. 
You know I am so interested in you; I love you as 
if you were my son. 

Robert. Love me? Do you mean it.? 

Viola. Yes, I really do. I have a motherly feel- 
ing toward you. In changing the subject, won't you 
play me a piece on the piano.'' 

Robert. Yes, certainly I will. [Rises and takes 
seat at piano. Plays piece and charms Mrs. Orms- 
ley. She rises and approaches the piano, being 
drawn by the music, pauses at back of stool and bends 
over Robert just as he finishes. He looks up, sees 
Mrs. Ormsley and exclaims.~\ 

Do you still love me.? [Mrs. Ormsley answers by 
suddenly throwing her arms around his neck, im- 
printing on his lips three smacking kisses.^ You 
dear boy ! 

Robert [aside^. Mine! Victory! 

Viola. Oh, dear, what will you think of me after 

80 



Scene 2 THE REFORMERS Act III 

all the talk I have had with you. [Robert leads her 
to sofa, with his arm around her waist, sits her on 
his knee^. 

Robert. I think you are fine. You don't regret 
loving me, do you.^^ 

Viola. You dear, bad boy, no, of course not, but 
promise me you will not tell a soul of our conversa- 
tion here to-night, and, and this — 

Robert. Not on your life. You are mine, are 
you not.? Say yes. [^Hugs and kisses Viola.] 

Viola. Y-e-s. Oh, don't hold me so tight. You 
are a bad boy [she laughs lightly and flings her arms 
again around Robert's neck and glues her lips to 
his^. 

Robert [^hearing the hall door close^- Quick, the 
mater! \_Freeing himself from Viola's embrace he 
gets to the door just as his mother turns the handle 
and enters. Viola at the same time reaches the 
other end of the room, seating herself quickly.^ 

Robert. Why, mother, how long you have been. 
Here is Mrs. Ormsley. She has been waiting quite 
a while to see you. I have been trying to entertain 
her with a little music. 

Viola. Yes, Mrs. Tattler, your son is indeed a 
beautiful pianist. He has indeed entertained and 
charmed me with his music. He played beauti- 
fully a favorite piece of mine " The Lost Chord " 
with variations. He has such a smooth touch [un- 
perceived, they wink at each other^. 

81 



Act III THE REFORMERS Scene 2 

Robert. Well, I must be going, mother, so I will 
leave jou and Mrs. Ormsley to yourselves. [Ejc- 
tends hand to Viola.] Good bye, Mrs. Ormsley. 

Viola. Good bye. 

Robert [aside~\. Meet me at the comer, I will 
wait for you. 

Exit Robert. Door closes. 

Mrs. Tattler. I am so pleased to see you, Mrs. 
Ormsley, but sorry I can only spend a few minutes 
with you as I am going to see " East Lynne " played 
to-night. Charming Thelba plays " Lady Isa- 
bel." Have you ever seen her? I know her father 
quite well at Seattle, charming man, and very much 
interested in my son. 

Viola. I am happy to think someone takes an in- 
terest in his welfare. If it is his soul's welfare it is 
better, but it is impossible for the father of an 
actress to save the soul of your son, Mrs. Tattler, if 
he has not been successful with his own daughter. 

Mrs. Tattler. I do not agree with you. You do 
not know Thelba's father [aside^ I must not let on 
that he is her husband's brother^ or you would alter 
your opinion of him. He is a genuine Christian; 
one that lives for God quietly, but does not harp on 
it. Robert often tells me that Mr. Or — [coughs to 
hide slip'] I mean Thelba's, father is the only man 
who could convert him \ha, ha]. Poor Robert is 
only what I have brought him up to be, but I love 
him, Mrs. Ormsley. 

82 



Scene 2 THE REFORMERS Act HI 

Viola. I believe you. One could not help loving 
that boy in spite of his sinful pursuits. Well, I 
must really be going, Mrs. Tattler. But before I 
go I would like to ask if you will contribute to our 
Mission in China. A small donation will do. 

Mrs. Tattler. Why, yes, Mrs. Ormsley, I will give 
you something with pleasure. I will mail you a 
check, or better still, will call on you to-morrow as 
I shall be passing your house and give you what I 
can. 

Mrs. Ormsley [prising is conducted into the hall^. 
Good bye, Mrs. Tattler. [Shakes hands.'\ 

Mrs. Tattler. Good bye, Mrs. Ormsley. Come 
again when I have more time to talk to you. Good 
by. \^Door closes. 1 

Mrs. Tattler [^reenters room, sinks in chair, and 
laughs lightly^. That is all they want — money, 
money, money [^yawns^ . I wonder where that boy of 
mine has gone. [Sighs. Rising, exits singing lightly. 
Door closes.^ 

CURTAIN 

End of Scene 2 



83 



Act III THE REFORMERS Scene 3 



ACT III 

Scene 3. Madison Avenue. Sitting Room of Thel- 
ba's Flat. Three Weeks Later 

Thelba [discovered knitting hy open window]. 
There is, after all, truth in the old saying, " Every 
cloud has a silver lining," for it has proved true 
regarding Walter and me. How happy I am to-day 
and how happy Walter will be when he knows of 
father's consent to our marriage. I must read his 
letter again. [Picks up letter from table and reads 
aloud.] "My darling daughter: I received your 
letter as I was just leaving the house for the rail- 
road station with the object of taking my ticket for 
New York, intending to pay you a surprise visit, 
but on second thought I have decided to postpone 
the trip for a few days. This will give you ample 
time to prepare for me, as I know you do not like to 
be taken by surprise. I note all you say in your 
letter regarding your cousin, Walter, and do not 
hesitate in saying that I see no earthly reason why 
you should not marry providing you love each 
other ; if you do not, then of course there is no more 
to be said. I freely give you my consent, Mabel, 
and will in addition settle on each of you a good 
round sum of money that will enable you both to en- 

84 



Scene 3 THE REFORMERS Act 111 

joy life as it should be enjoyed. When I arrive in 
New York I will wire you and you need not trouble 
to meet me, as I will hire a taxi and come straight on. 
I will arrive soon after the telegram. Don't forget 
to have Walter with you, as I am anxious to meet 
the young man. I have written to his parents, tell- 
ing them I am ahve and well and have taken the 
liberty of inviting them to your place without ask- 
ing your permission. My object in asking them to 
meet me at your home is that I might have an op- 
portunity of saying what I think of them, and their 
treatment of Walter according to your letter. Their 
doings are well known to me and I intend to let them 
know my candid opinion of faking morality. If they 
should arrive before me, do not let them see Walter 
or yourself, as I have a Httle plan of my own in view 
which I will explain when I see you. I will now con- 
clude, reserving all further news until I see you. 
Your loving father, Richard Ormsley." 

[Thelba folds up letter and conceals same in 
blouse.^ Darhng papa, how good you are to me. 
[Tahes out watch.'] Gracious! Walter is due — how 
the time flies ! [Ring at front door, which is opened 
hy maid who ushers Walter into room. Thelba 
advances and throws her arms around his neck and 
hisses him. Leading her to sofa, Walter seats himr 
self with Thelba beside him.] 

Walter- What is the news, dear, you seem extra 
happy to-day. Can it be that uncle has given his 

S5 



Act III THE REFORMERS Scene S 

consent? [Thelba nods, takes letter from blouse 
and hands same without saying a word. Walter 
reads it and exclaims~\ Thank God! [Presses Thel- 
ba to his breast and showers kisses on her lips.^ 
Uncle Richard is the dearest of men! [Thelba 
sighs with happiness and exclaims S\ 

I am so happy, Walter, I feel as if I have a new 
lease of life. 

Walter. And I, too, Thelba. When do you think 
uncle will arrive.'^ 

Thelba. Any time now. He should have arrived 
before this. [Ring at bell. Enter maid with tele- 
gram. Thelba rises, takes telegram, breaks envel- 
ope and reads. '\ " Will be with you shortly. 

Father." 

Maid [waiting^. Any answer, Miss? The boy 
is waiting. 

Thelba. No, Nellie, there is no answer, but if a 
lady and gentleman call before my father arrives, 
conduct them in here, but first see who it is at the 
door, and if it is my father you can let him in; if 
the lady and gentleman, come and tell me, and what- 
ever you do, don't answer any questions, Nellie. 
You can peep to find out who is at the door. That 
is all, dear. [Exit maid. Door closes. Thelba 
takes her place again on Walter's knees and claps 
her hands with joy.'\ Father will soon be here. 
What a lovely day this is ! [Buries head on Wal- 
ter's shoulder.'] 

S6 



Scene 3 THE REFORMERS Act III 

Walter. Your father's letter states that he has 
invited the Mater and Dad here, also that he has a 
plan in view. I wonder what thej will say when 
they know all? 

Thelha. I don't care, dear, what they say, for I 
am too happy to care [looking up tenderly into her 
lover's face, she kisses him and runs her fingers 
lightly through his hair^- 

Walter. I am so glad to hear you speak like this, 
darling. Do you know, everything is beautiful to 
me now? Wherever I look I seem to see God, the 
air seems full of his love. By the way, Thelba, I 
met poor old Tim Murphy on my way here and he 
was very much upset over being refused membership 
at the church he attends. He told me they would 
not accept him on the understanding that he was in 
the habit of taking drink. He assured me he never 
took too much, and as far as he knew no one was 
aware he took intoxicating liquor at all. He said 
he always takes a glass of beer with his meals and 
did not see any wrong in doing so, as it was no 
worse in his estimation than the drinking of wine 
by the deacons. The fact is, Thelba, old Tim is 
poor and unable to contribute to the support of the 
church. This is why they will not receive him. 

Thelba. What a shame, the poor old dear, I feel 
so sorry for him, but if I were he I would not let 
that worry me, as he can rest assured he is not losing 

87 



Act III THE REFORMERS Scerie S 

much, for he would not be happy as a member of 
such a church. What denomination is it? 

Walter. Baptist, and do you know, Thelba, they 
are the most bigoted and narrow-minded of all? 

Thelba. Yes, I am aware of it, they reckon them- 
selves the elect. I forget, Walter, what author it was 
who said, in order to live a Christian life one would 
have to be a member of no church. I may not repeat 
it as she wrote it, but the meaning is plain, and if I 
remember rightly, you will find these words in " The 
Romance of Two Worlds." Poor old Tim must be 
a member of no church [Thelba laughs^. He will 
be far happier. 

Walter. I agree with you, dear, and believe also 
in the author's statement. She is a woman of 
wide experience and common sense, clothed with the 
blessed light of God, which permeates her writings 
and fills her soul with a great love for mankind. 

Thelba. I love to read such works. The writer 
seems to glean the true drift of the scriptures. I feel 
she will hold a very high place in the next world, as 
her works have done and are still doing a great 
amount of good. Her writings have made many a 
scripture plain to me. 

Walter. I again agree with you, dear. I begin 
to think you are a philosopher. I don't think we 
shall disagree, for our views seem to be alike. [Noise 
of taoci stopping outside. Ring at bell. Maid en- 
ters hurriedly.^ 

88 



Scene 3 THE REFORMERS Act III 

Maid. A gentleman who looks like your father, 
Miss. I peeped from the dining room window. 

Thelba \_laughing^. All right, Nellie, let him in. 
\_Door opened by maid who ushers gentleman vis- 
itor into roo7n.'\ 

Thelba [having risen^ advances to meet the gentle- 
man^. Father! [Throws her arms around his neck 
and showers kisses on him.^ You darling, how 
glad I am to see jou. Let me introduce you to 
cousin Walter [Walter advances and shakes hands 
with uncle. Introduction business]. 

Richard. Well, my boy, I am more than glad to 
see you. The last time I saw you you were quite a 
little fellow. I don't expect you remember me 
though. 

Walter. No, uncle, I do not, but I must thank 
you for [sh — from Richard, who holds hand up]. 

Richard. Don't mention it, my boy, my consent 
has been given and I will tell you frankly that at 
first sight I like you very much and feel sure you 
and Mabel are suited to each other. All things work 
together for good to those who love God. 

Thelba. How well you look, father. [Thelba 
rings. Maid enters and takes Richard's haty gloves 
and hand bag. Exit maid. Richard seats himself 
in easy chair close to sofa where Thelba and Wal- 
ter again seat themselves.] 

Richard. Now listen to my plan. I have written 
to your parents, Walter, and they may arrive at any 

89 



Act III THE REFORMERS Scene 3 

moment now, so I propose that you both be within 
call. One ring to bring in you, Thelba, and two 
rings to bring in you, Walter. You see I wish to 
surprise your parents, Walter, by bringing Mabel 
suddenly on the scene, making them aware that she 
is the famous actress, Thelba, my daughter and their 
niece; then, cap the whole business by bringing in 
you, making them also aware that you are here, 
their son, being a cousin of Thelba, and my 
nephew. I will then astound them by telling them 
that you are about to marry Mabel. What do you 
think of my little plan, eh.^^ [Good humored laugh- 
ter from g7Z.] 

Thelba. I think you ought to have been a stage 
manager, father, for you arrange scenes beautifully 
[turns to Walter]. Don't you think so, Walter.? 

Walter. Yes; I do. [All three laugh together 
again.l 

Richard. I am sorry, Walter, your parents are 
leading such hypocritical lives. Their doings have 
reached me out West through the papers; also by 
other sources. I intend to tell them what I think 
of them and will threaten to expose them if they 
do not alter their ways. I have arranged with a 
policeman to be within call to eject them gently, if 
necessary. This is only fun on my part. Your 
mother I am real sorry for. Your father's example 
has been bad for her. She will repent, I am sure, 
and alter her ways, but your father I have my 

90 



Scene 3 THE REFORMERS Act 111 

doubts about ; but perhaps he may alter, too. Any- 
way if he does not repent here he will do so in the 
next world, no doubt [good humored laughter^ . The 
reformers shall be reformed. I know a young fellow, 
by name, Robert Tattler, a very wild youth. He 
wrote me a few days ago saying he had decided to 
turn over a new leaf. I met him at Seattle eighteen 
months ago. He was spending a few weeks there 
with his mother. We got acquainted and have 
corresponded ever since. Do you know that boy told 
me all about himself and his mother. She is a bad 
example to her son. He never knew his father. They 
have plenty of money. At least the mother is a 
woman of means. They live at Mt. Vernon, Chester 
Hill, I think. 

Thelba. Father, dear, do you know you would 
make a fine preacher? [Walter laughs.^ 

Richard. No doubt, my girl, but I believe in prac- 
tice. Preaching is all very well in its way but it is 
not enough and alone it will never bring the millen- 
nium. 

Walter. Uncle, you seem to view things in ex- 
actly — [Walter is interrupted by loud ring at 
front door bell. 'I 

Richard. Let's beat it. [All three run through 
door into hall and upstairs out of sight. Door is 
opened by maid. Mr. and Mrs. Stephen Ormsley 
are ushered into the sitting room and asked to 
take a seat. A few minutes elapse. Richard enters 

91 



Act III THE REFORMERS Scene 3 

and the Ormsleys rise to greet him, holding out 
their hands and xvith beaming faces both speak at 
random. Richard waves them back and speaks in 
a stern voice, saying, ~\ 

Richard. No, Stephen, and you, Viola, I cannot 
shake hands with such as you. Your disgraceful 
conduct is well known to me. 

Stephen [choked for words^. What — why — what 
do you mean? 

Viola [interrupting^. Yes, Richard, what do you 
mean ? We do not understand you. 

Richard. Well, I will make myself perfectly clear. 
I do not approve of your reforming business. Your 
doings in this part of the country have reached me 
out West through the papers and through other 
sources. You are leading corrupt lives under the 
cloak of religion. 

Stephen [in rage^. How dare you, sir.'' 

Viola. Yes, how dare you ? 'Tis all a lie. 

Richard. No, it is no lie. [Looks straight at 
Mrs. Ormsley and says.^ I have received certain 
information from a young man by the name of Rob- 
ert Tattler. Do you know him.'' 

Viola [colors up'\. Know him.? No, I know of no 
such person. 

Richard. Oh, very well. I thought you people 
knew everyone, being continually before the public 

92 



Scerie 3 THE REFORMERS Act III 

eye. Anyway [/o Stephen], you know what Mr. 
Alexander Faker left England for, I suppose. 

Stephen [white with ragej. I know no such per- 
son, sir, and you know it. 

Richard. Well, perhaps I have gotten hold of the 
wrong name, but you will not deny your unchristian 
conduct toward your son, Walter, do you not know 
where he is.'^ 

Stephen and Viola [in a breath^. No. 

Stephen. He entered the low, God forsaken the- 
atrical profession. That is where he is and I have 
disowned him, but as to where he lives I know not 
and care less. 

Richard. Not God forsaken, Stephen. There are 
more noble souls there than in any other profession. 
[Richard rings hand bell. Thelba enters.^ 

Stephen and Viola [together, exclaim^. Thelba, 
the actress. 

Richard. Yes, Thelba, the actress, otherwise 
known as Mabel Ormsley, my daughter and your 
neice. [Thelba bows.^ 

Two rings on bell. Walter enters. 

Stephen and Viola [both exclairri]. What! Wal- 
ter here, too ! 

Richard. Yes, Walter is here, too, and about to 
marry his cousin, my daughter and your niece. [At 
this they become frantic and shout, creating a ter- 
rible uproar.^ 

93 



Act III THE REFORMERS Scene 3 

Stephen and Viola \^together'\. We shall consult 
our lawyer about this, you blackguard. Devils 
[^cries Stephen, who shakes fist at his son, then at 
his brotherl, you shall suffer! [Richard goes to 
imndow hurriedly and blows whistle. An officer en- 
ters, being let in by the maid in the secret, and in a 
firm but gentle voice orders them out, Richard add- 
ing they had better leave the city as soon as possible 
or they will be exposed. Front door closes. Reen- 
trance of maid and policeman. Richard join^ his 
daughter's hand to Walter's and gives them Ms 
blessing.^ 

curtain 

Finale 



94 



